Morning Rant.

While driving through D.C. this morning, I happened to pass the Uptown Theater off Connecticut Avenue. (A cinema treasure, in my humble opinion) It did bring back many fond memories of growing up, and the many summers that I've spent with my grandmother before finally moving to the DC Metro area for college. She lived in northwest, off Military Road, and many changes to the old 'hood have occurred. The Highs convenience store (now a CVS), the 7-11 (also a CVS), and the McDonald's in Tenley town (Where I witnessed my first, and hopefully my last gun robbery) were all places I used to frequent as a young lady. OH, did I mention I was 12 when I saw the robbery? It was very surreal. It is a florist shop now. From holdups to lilies, pigtails to my work bun at the bank... It's still an awfully strange transition.

When I was living back in Northern NJ, I would spend every summer (from 1990 on) with my grandmother in NW D.C. She lived in a very quaint neighborhood. There were nice neighbors who would bake cookies for the kids of Military Road and it was walking distance to Murch Middle School's playground (everything a kid could ever need!). This 'hood is where I learned how to ride a bicycle, take metro transportation, wear 'baggy' clothing, and bypass tourists on the street without getting too physical. Hanging out in NYC/Northern NJ had turned me into a rude, raging pedestrian for a few years, if you could believe it. It was a fun experience spending every summer in D.C. It was a period of time in my life that I was away from my parents, and from my "JERSEY" way of living. I loved every minute of it!



Ah, memories. Back to the Uptown Theater... The style of the theater is art deco, seats about 800, has a single screen which is curved and measures about 32 feet x 70 feet. The Uptown Theater has been the best place to see event movies over the past 30 years. It opened in 1933, and happens to be the last movie palace in Washington, DC still showing first run films and was the location of the world premiere of '2001: A Space Odyssey' in April 1968.

What's the fascination with the theater? Well, glad you asked. As I drove past the theater early this morning, I noticed a few lawn chairs, sleeping bags, backpacks and water bottles outside the ticket window. There wasn't a small concert in front of the ticket window, instead there were (about 50) fanatics waiting in line for the latest chapter of the Star Wars movie. No need to camp out for great seats, my friends. EVERY SEAT IN THAT HOUSE IS A GREAT SEAT! The Uptown is one of my favorite theaters in this area. In 1997, when the Uptown Theater was the host of the re-release of the Star Wars saga (The special edition) and on opening day, the ticket lines were wrapped around the block, turned the corner, and continued several blocks away from Connecticut Street.

I noticed one of the fanboys hitting his daily 3 S's. (Shitting, Showering, and Shaving) All this while standing right over a sewer drain, too. Of course the dental association highly recommends using StarBucks coffee to rinse off your toothpaste and mouthwash. Scratching himself as if he was in his own private restroom... I definitely could of done without seeing that earlier this morning.

I wouldn't be suprised if the Cleveland Park area had some fanboys dressed up in full Star Wars costumes running around. Keep note of the middle aged men playing with light sabers, that's always a fun accident waiting to happen.

Residents of Cleveland Park/Woodley Park:

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

--Mr. Westfall, you did an excellent job bringing the funny last night. I'm a big fan of your work, Shawn. You, my friend, are a funny guy. You're a funny mother (shut your mouth) SHAWN! Can you dig it?

Talent is what talent does. YOU. ARE. FUNNY. Now, keep the laughs coming, and show the rest of us, how it's done. Bitch. :)

Come check him out at the DC IMPROV, he'll be the funny one on stage. He'll be there the rest of week. Do yourself a favor and support comedy.