Why I Love Lloyd Dobler (And You Should, Too)

You don't have to be a kid from the 80's, or lived through this decade as a young adult, to understand why Lloyd Dobler is the greatest character to ever emerge from a Cameron Crowe flick. The movie? Say Anything.

Sure, you fall in love with his charm, his nerdiness, and his kind demeanor in the movie. What makes him memorable? He takes monumental risks.

(I'll sprinkle in some movie lines that'll add to my ode to Lloyd post)

Diane Court: I need you.
Lloyd Dobler: Tell me something... do you need someone or do you need me?... Forget it, I don't care.
Diane Court: I need you.

Lloyd, like all romantic comedy characters who chase after a woman that isn't necessarily within his league, goes head on into his affections. He goes after what he wants, despite the odds.



Diane Court: Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd Dobler: No. You just described every great success story.

Yes, he gets crushed. It doesn't kill him. Romantic Comedies often contradict that. (I feel that these films are romantic notions of what real love is) For me, most guys, after love screws him over for the first time crumble into an emotional cripple. This knee jerk reaction completely depersonalizes their relationships with women and end up taking out their frustration and pain in a series of disconnected, meaningless pursuits for the rest of their lives. Some men may think this is "strength" until they decide to settle down, but really, it's throwing in the towel, at that point. Men are weak creatures inside. Indeed.

In one of the scenes, Lloyd joins up with his other guy friends to commiserate their dating situations. He's given the advice: "All you gotta do, is go out, find a girl that looks like her, do her and then dump her man". Lloyd's reaction? Doesn't believe one word. His response: "If you know so much about girls what are you doing here at like a Gas n' Sip on a Friday night with absolutely no women anywhere." Lloyd is definitely no fool.

The woman, Diane, in the movie, doesn't break his spirit. Lloyd still believes in love. With all the obstacles, fears, and uncertainty of what love can bring, Lloyd still believes in risking it all. He goes after what he wants, what he loves.

"This girl was different. This girl made me trust myself man. I was walking around and I was feeling satisfied. Can you imagine that?"

This line gets me every time. If there was a version of Lloyd in my life, he would make me trust myself as well. It goes both ways, just as love is a two headed force to be reckoned with.

It tears me inside knowing that I can be quite reticent to love someone. Fearing it, avoiding it, ignoring it. I've been unable to risk the potential of the greatness of love. Or heartache. It's not that I'm adverse to loving someone. I keep my eyes, and heart open all the time. Perhaps my patience will pay off, at least I'm hoping.

To end, maybe I'm just like Lloyd when he states:

"I am looking for a dare to be great situation."