Arthur Schopenhauer once said, "The two foes of human happiness are pain and boredom." No shit.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
-Charles Schulz

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
(Will someone just club me in the head with a baby seal and put me out of my misery?)

I won't get into how god awful the past two days have been. For I may have to take a moment to myself every other word. To add insult to injury, I had most of the CCB security department give me the "googly" eyes earlier this afternoon. I had to retake my thumprints for the FBI for work. What really chaps my ass is that I've been working for the company over 2 months now. Way to "clear" me at the bank and staying on top of things, fellas. I was being hit on so hard by this security person helping me with the retake prints. (I was beginning to think this "retake" was a setup.) He kept insisting I was the prettiest woman he's ever seen. He must not get out much... Or own a tv. I'm guessing he had a long day at work to forget his wife and daughter could top all other women this category. He blatantly told me that as soon as his wife dies in a plane crash that I'd be the first person he calls. Um... How do I take that as a form of flattery?? YOU DON'T! Make matters worse, when I had to update my work badge, they had to bring my personal information up on the computer console for all the other security perverts to see. One guy said, "Is that your home or cell number?" Of course, everyone else took a "look" too. Why did they have to ask which branch I worked at? They're friggin security, they can look up my info after I leave. (kind of like the 13 year-old boys who look up porn at the library. *Shudders* I felt so dirty... I left that Bethesda building faster than an anorexic girl in a pie eating contest. I wouldn't be so angry if they sent me flowers or candy to my branch, though. At least that way, I wouldn't think they're perverts. Just personal stalkers. Ugh. God must really hate me.

On my day off, I had to travel the tri-state area for one reason or another. Just call me Gimpy half-step. I doubt I'll regain feeling in my left leg ever again! :( Oy Vey.

I'll retire to my corner and continue feeling sorry for my gimp ass. I need a really stiff drink, a big hug, a good laugh, and a major bong hit. Be in contact with me asap if you can help with any one of these fine remedies...

I'm a sad panda...

(Kudos to you if you know which South Park episode that is from.)