The blundering madness of miscommunication.

Wow! It's like a Danielle Steele novel in here!
...From a writer, I'm pretty sure that's an insult.

Ladder 49 came out this weekend. Apparently, my head of hair made the cut. (Highlights. Look for chick with highlights.) Thanks to my mother who reportedly stood up in the middle of the theater (somewhere in N.C., mind you) and shouted, "That's my daughter! That's the back of her head. I know that hair anywhere!" *Palms face into hands* I'm glad she went to the movie w/out me!

Every celebrity needs to start off with a fanbase. I just happen to have my own mother as the President of my fanclub. I did neglect to tell her that my line may or may not make the final cut. She wants a percentage of the residuals. Damn woman! Effin bastard...

--Didn't look at the schedule too closely at work. In need of particular days off. Not because I drink all night and party like a rock star, (which is always a good reason to NOT work) but for valid reasons: auditions, bi-weekly meeting with parole officer, weekly trip to N.I.H. for "random" drug testing, and the 2nd Friday of every month I check out the local pediatrcian's office for the new issue of "HighLights". I also go door to door selling magazine subscriptions for my fellow Jehovah's witnesses. (We cover more ground this way)

Joking aside, this is going to be a busy week. Next week is looking crazy as well. If no one hears from me, meaning you haven't gotten my usual e-mail, phone call, text message, singing telegram, "snail mail" via pony express... call for help. Not sure if I'll come out of it sane. I'll get through it, of course. Hell, I've lived in Jersey for God's sake. I know I bitch about it, but I love living a meshogonah life. (That's the only way I know God truly loves me.)

I'm grateful I don't live a thug life like "Shaw Diddy Fall". That man has his 'hos & bitches working on corners where foreign thugs with cameras make it difficult for a bitch to get "paid". Location, bitch. Location. For Rizzy! It ain't gangsta if it ain't a Cafe Mocha from StarBucks, beyotch. It's NOT hardcore if it ain't frothy. Hardest working pimp on the "C" block. Got it, bitch?

Don't Be a Menace to Woodley Park While Drinking Your "Cafe Latte" in the Hood.

--Don't you dare mess with Shaw Diddy's peeps. They'll cut you up then head over to the Gap for the big khaki's sale. Hardcore shit going on in Diddy's 'hood.


*Much love goes out to a Ms. Brenda up in NJ for pimping me out to everyone via instant messaging on AOL by placing an away message: Liezel is in Ladder 49. I miss you guys terribly! I'll be heading up north (NJ/NYC) for frequent weekend trips during the next couple of months. Nothing says fun than out of the blue trips to NYC... It's my kind of town, baby!!

On that note:
I'm going to make like a baby and "head out".
PEEEEACE.