"I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones."

Ah, the art of auditioning. As someone really clever once said, "Be in the moment." I was asked to return for the World Cup of Comedy audition finals last night. Sadly, I was not in the moment for both my audition scenes. Was I nervous you ask? No. The thing about the audition process is that you got to give them your ALL. I'll use my audition last Tuesday as an example. I was given a scene that involved 2 people at a bar embarking on a blossoming romance done in the style of a silent movie. (I know. What kind of audition involves no dialogue??) Given, this being my first improv audition, I used my acting audition techniques to compensate for my inexperience in the comedy casting call. I was in the moment. I created an objective on stage and found the beat (and the beat changes). The scene had called for no dialogue, so I had to use body language to the 10th utmost degree. Overall, I was pleased with the scene and felt good walking off stage. Unfortunately, I could not repeat a similar mastery of the audition scenes last night.

I will say this to all 27 improv performers at the callback finals:

There was something in your performance from your first audition that wanted the producers/directors (tv whores who makes tons of money) to see more from you on stage. It was the choices you made that got you to the finals last night. There's no true method in mastering the audition process. Just give them what they want to see and the rest is golden. (Listen. Listen. Listen.) If the scene calls for a troll in an office done in the style of Hitchcock, someone better be a troll, and someone better mention Norman or those damn birds! :) Apparently, you have something they think could make the show a success. Just remember, you beat out so many other people for your seat last night. That in itself is an accomplishment.

It was a great time nonetheless. Yes, your time on stage in terribly limited. Make the best of your stagetime, offer suggestions, and be fearless. (Someone really cute told me that once.) ;)

It was my first improv audition, but definitely not my last. I have to say that improv auditions are much more fun than acting gig auditions. And there's no big casting couch. (whew)

-Yes, please send all sympathy cards to the Neelsville Traditional bank branch. I may be depressed from my poor audition performance. I welcome lunches, gift certificates, and cookies. Oh, and please limit your gifts to 3 packages. :)

"To tell of disappointment and misery, to thicken the darkness of futurity, and perplex the labyrinth of uncertainty, has been always a delicious employment of the poets"
Samuel Johnson

Razzos: You're my favorite drill sergeant. Too bad I'm late. And gave birth to a hideous child. Ugh. You should have "pushed" me down the stairs...

Westfall: You are a funny & talented man. Who knew?? ;) Glad to see you perform improv comedy outside the DC Improv classroom. Too cool.

Conan O'Brien: (Who wasn't there last night) "Just be cool my babies"

-Side note: I'm going to have to sleep with Kelsey Grammar to get on this damn improv show. SHIT. Wish me luck. I'm going to need it...