Advice seekers: Friend or Foe?

I don't seem to have enough issues of my own, so I purposely run into individuals who have wholesale subscriptions of "Drama Daily." These so-called friends never really seek advice, but the things they want you to say to justify what they deem is fitting for themselves. Would it not be easier for them to look in the mirror and say the things they think they need to hear? It would save all the parties involved time and wasted effort.

The thing about advice, whether you're giving it or receiving, is that it's not necessarily about giving the best words of wisdom. Rather, it's about adhering to the "signs" and "cues" of your friends. They want you to side with them. Make no exceptions. You're going to keep that mouth shut and nod accordingly. There would be no rebuttals, no point of views, no last minute "and another thing". The mind plays quite a few tricks on one's emotions, so if someone is going through some heavy emotional traffic, he or she is NOT about to heed advice from someone who isn't on their team.

The best way to play ball, and not strike out with said individuals?
Here are a few key notes:

-Never, under any circumstances say, "What's the matter with you?" Or better yet, "What were you thinking?"
-Stay clear of sentences beginning with "If you were in their shoes..."
-Don't look them directly in the eye. Most advice seekers are heavily low in self-esteem fuel. Looking into their eyes only adds on more minutes of them blabbing on about what they think they should do.
-As much as you'd rather play Texas Hold'em on your cell phone or jab a spork in your hamstrings, never lose focus of what they are blabbing about. You might be asked to review what they mumbled about for the past hour.

It's not that I don't care about my friends. I really do. It's just I don't care for the bullshit that goes along with their issues. "I don't know what to do about her. She doesn't call me. I really like her, but I feel I'm not giving her what she wants. Should I call her? I already left 5 messages. You think she's ignoring me. Fuck her, I don't want to talk to her. You think she's cheating on me? Hell, I'd cheat on me. Liezel, what do I do?"

Personally, I'd down a few purple pills before listening to another round of indecisive ramblings. People know what they have to do, but seek that emotional push for back up. Go for Liezel. What's your 20?

Most people want the truth. Or so you think. Do people really want to hear what you have to say? Think about it. Would you take your own advice? It's like the blind leading the blind. You wouldn't get that far.

I know what I want to hear. I know what I want to say. The trick to giving and receiving advice is knowing yourself. I know what I'm willing to put up with as far as my dealings with people. Do you?