I think therefore I am asian. Occasionally, this will mean I equate as your human abacus.

Life is all about ass:

You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or trying to get a piece of it.

*grumble*

The ambiguously gay female cops will rue the day they flashed their "dancing lights" at one Ms. Liezel.

In route to my last improv class in DC, I was instructed by the sounds of sirens and god awful disco lights to direct my vehicle off to the side of the road. I complied with these un-called for demands. Why was I drawn in the Route 270 car lottery to play with the pigs? Much was my dismay when I took notice of the two officers in plain clothing. (Brightly neon "hurts too much to look at" yellow shirts I may add) I recognized the ambiguously gay female cops as a sign to buttoning back the top buttons of my shirt and the un-perking of my breasts. This soon came to be the "Oh shit, I'm going to get a ticket moment. Gosh darn my frazzled luck.

Perturbed, and running behind schedule, I turn off the engine. I quickly prayed to the Traffic Violating Gods to "bless" me with impunity this cool, cloudy morning. Due to my numerous absences at DMV Church, I was given a $275 speeding ticket as my penance. And people wonder why one loses their faith...

*grumble*

Let's move along to more positive moments of my weekend shall we?

My brother Kevin and I decided yesterday was the day we would play the sport of tennis. Luckily for us, there were no spectators pressed up against the high fence.

I would associate our game playing skills with a mentally disabled person making love to a doorknob. You feel for us, but you can't help but laugh at our bungling ways. Unpack your bags folks, we're not heading to Wimbledon anytime soon.

If only we were both able to grasp the simple idea that tennis is much like the game PONG. Unfortunately this was a game beyond my little brother's time. He's more of the NES tennis game genre. *Mind you, we played tennis just as slow as that version of NES tennis. Kudos to the people who know what game I'm referencing. It's quite "old school"* If only we were given proper instruction, we would become the asian sensations of the tennis court. Or at least spokespeople for drycleaning your tennis wear needs.

Moving along. ;)

I will not subject you to my experience at an asian bar lounge Saturday night. The last time I saw this many asians crammed into a confined space was back when we were sardined on a boat coming to America. I'm kidding, we snuck in via banana crates. I beginning to think that cutting a rug is the same as dry humping. Don't get me wrong, I've been known to "boogie" on the dance floor, but I quickly take a seat when I'm done getting my leg humped by drunk men.

Moving along. ;p

A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. Henry Brooks Adams

Sweet Ass, you're a great teacher. Never doubt yourself. You are what you are. Thanks for making class fun to learn and play. Now make up some other class so the DICSC alumni can avoid the improv comedy class withdrawal!! And go.