Faking It All Along...Quintessentially the muse of life
I hate to do it, but I must. And yes, there is valid reasoning behind the song lyric post. The song is Fortunate Fool by Jack Johnson. Let's never underestimate the true power of thought, my friends.
At random, Media Player made this song selection while I browsed through my usual rounds of sites and tiresome e-mail spam deletion. As part of my daily computer ritual, of course. Listening to randomly played music is nothing out of the ordinary. Streams of consciousness were brought forth from this song, while placing a rude pause on my daily routine. (You have to pardon the loosely connected associations. "I think" is my personal motto.)She's got it all figured out
She knows what everything about
And when anybody doubts her,
Or sings songs without her
She's just so mmm
She knows the world is just her stage
And so she'll never misbehave
She gives thanks for what they gave her
Man, they practically made her
Into a mmm
She's the one that stumbles when she talks about
The seven foreign films that she's checked out
Such a fortunate fool
She's just too good to be true
She's such a fortunate fool
She's just so mmm
This all started from a conversation I had in a cab in route to the Prince concert at the MCI Center on Saturday night. (Fan-FUCKIN-tastic show.) (Which brought on a waterfall of ideas for me.) The conversation that evening began with the topic of family, while ending up somewhere between the discovery through connections and personal choices. Are we who we are today because of genetic coding or are we just a product of our many environments? My thought process is steering me towards the latter. Quite similar to a bet the characters Randolph & Duke Mortimer made in the movie Trading Places. (1983 flick starring Dan Aykroyd & Eddie Murphy) In the movie, a bet was placed to turn a homeless person into someone filthy rich while stripping away the riches of a wealthy man. The winner was determined by who would outlast the other in their new state of life. Randolph argued that men are born into a certain way of life while his brother Duke believed in environmental adjustment. The movie revolved around this argument and the $1 bet the rich old men brought on. (Ah, where we would be without the great 80's comedy movies?) Just because you were born into a silver spoon life doesn't necessarily mean you'll remain in luxury forever. Or vice versa.
Since many variables are considered in this case, such questions come to mind: Does upbringing dictate a specific future? Is religion a factor? Does single, divorced, or gay parents make a difference in a person's life? Is there a prime choice among the home, public, or private schooling systems? Republican or Democrat? Does goodnight kisses, hello hugs, and bedtime stories have an impact on parent/child relationships? Do all these things factor into who we become?
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." -- Goethe
I don't know if we can find who we truly are in the span of a lifetime. The simple fact that we put on different hats everyday, or personas, can confuse the genuine nature of our beings. In daily conversation, do you find yourself taking on a bigger version of you? Do compliments and gestures take on a life on their own? Is there a subconscious display of security, or lack of one? In a relationship (of any sort), do you let your guard down? Are you afraid there just might not be a connection? Or perhaps you quiver in the knees of the potential of making such a connection with someone? There's nothing to fear when you're being yourself. To remain reserved in this situation can only hurt it. There's a slight hesitance that changes action to reaction when attempting to share the many different levels of intimacy. (Often scares or turns people off.) You tend to question when someone is being "real". In turn, it creates awkward moments, lost conversations, and a quiet, lingering sadness. Don't fear failure when attempting to make a connection. You won't be able to associate with everyone in your life. (I know, quite the frown inducer in my opinion.) Never let your guard down. Always put your best foot forward. Never frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Who we are is completely different from what we are as human beings. Current situations in life can dictate who we are at this moment in time, while future situations (yet to be discovered) can also help in this process. 14 years of Catholic schooling doesn't necessarily mean I'm begging to join the Franciscan Nunnery. It's about the choices we make. A freedom taken for granted. Your parents made choices, their parents made choices, your kids will make choices, and you will continue to make choices. You have the right to do just about anything you want to do. Nothing else matters. Live life the way you see fit. Some cultures believe in polygamy, while other societies deem monogamy their way of living. Some communities allow multiple relationships with the consent of everyone involved. The real facade is that I see things differently, and I stick to what feels right for me. Who needs the drama? If you give yourself to someone genuinely (and is kindly returned to you), the reward is far greater than let's say, any amount of etched numbers on the bed posts. Now does that define who I am? Or do my ponderings give you a different perspective of who I am? That's the thing, you never quite know when someone is being genuine with you or not. It's no wonder people have a hard time accepting and appreciating compliments. (myself included)
I can promise to be sincere, but not to be impartial.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When do we stop pretending along? Getting by, simply for getting by? I've learned that you can only pretend along as far as the relationships with other people take you. If that means you live your life your way; then let it be that I'll live my life without following the rest of the fold. To truly connect with people, you have to stop pretending to be that "uber, super contrived version" of yourself. You're fooling no one. Connections are sometimes made vicariously through unforeseen circumstances. If something or someone makes you happy, keep strong hold of it. The opportunity for enjoyment may not be there for long. A lesson I've learned, and a lesson I'll continue learning. Life is about finding those grand connections, so keep those hopes high. You may never know what you can learn about others, and eventually about yourself, if you don't make the effort to do so.
Life is a strange and bumpy trip onto self discovery. Though the paths vary in length and scenic routes; often enough, we find ourselves with epiphanies (or shortcuts) when least expected. The magic of life is that it's full of the unknown and the unexpected. Embrace it. Accept it. If you're lucky, you'll reach this destination, and maybe towards an answer to life's question, "Who am I?"
I'm quite the fortunate fool. Fortunate enough to be alive. I'm fortunate to understand there's more to life than materialistic and selfish needs. The art of living has given me the ability to be loved, and ability to love those I truly care about. Realizing I'm fortunate enough for being able to find a connection in the first place. Foolishly, I'll continue to question it all to death with my inquisitive nature. My insatiable appetite for spontaneity, laughter, lasting friendships, and new adventures may not always work when forming new relationships. No need to worry myself with the daily miscommunications of life. Someone will eventually figure me out. There's little room for people who don't understand the concept of honesty when dealing with me. You can't fake the art of living & loving. It's the fate of the gods to decide if the connection is right. You can't make someone love you. All you can do is continue to love and hope for the love to be returned. (Love from your mother, your uncle, your sister, your friend, your lover.) It's not so much as trying to make others happy. It's about accepting who are you, rather who you'll become, before accepting someone else in. Love, in every sense of the word, can be felt by fortunate fools like myself; however, it requires living life without the "pretending" state of mind.
It's a lonely mixed up tragedy
that rips apart my life long dream
and a lonely mixed up memory
that keeps me down when I just want to be free -Not what I wanted by Evan Olson
You're never the "real" you without taking part in a character of your self created environment. The innumerable facets of love will find a way into the many facades of life's masquerade. We pretend along in life, but do we transfer that over when it comes to love? Does love in turn create character?
I have wasted a few kisses on you-kisses I thought were special because of your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you when you smiled. But now I know you never meant any of it.... Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.
-That Thing You Do movie quote
The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a Hell of heaven.
It was beautiful and simple as all truly great swindles are.
2 Comments:
i think this post is brilliant. Not sure why people would have a problem with it.
Great post.
Here's a couple of quotes I suspect you'll like.
"Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image."
Mona Lisa Smile
"I'm beginning to think that maybe its not how much you love someone. Maybe what matters is who you are when you're with them."
The Accidental Tourist
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