Birthdays Are the Tolling of

Birthdays are the tolling of
A bell that marks the coming of
A time of festive joy and love,
A time to treasure life and love.
So come and celebrate with me
The circumstance that makes me, me:
The moment when I came to be,
And what I now have come to be.

Quotes from famous people born on this day:

"Don't play what's there, play what's not there."
Miles Davis American jazz musician, 1926-1991

"Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences."
Isadora Duncan American dancer, best known as one of the founders of modern dance. 1877-1927

"I stick to simple themes. Love. Hate. No nuances. I stay away from psychoanalyst's couch scenes. Couches are good for one thing."
John Wayne Major American motion-picture actor who embodied the image of the strong, taciturn cowboy or soldier and who in many ways personified the idealized American values of his era. 1907-1979

"They weren't really weddings, just long costume parties."
Peggy (Norma Egstrom) Lee 1920–2002

"A dramatic thing, the first time you stand up to your dad."
Lenny Kravitz 1964-

"No man is lonely while eating spaghetti."
Robert Morley 1908–1992 English actor

"America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole."
Bob Goldthwaite 1962–

"The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera."
Dorothea Lange 1895–1965 American documentary photographer

"I always thought he sounded just like Yogi Bear."
Mick Ronson 1946–1993 English guitarist, on Bob Dylan

You can make fun of everything.
Matt Stone 1971-



It's my birthday today. Heh, another year. I'm a quarter of a century old, and I still have difficulty finding my keys. Pocket full of "happy pills" should get me through this day. My 4 day weekend is a nice way to celebrate another year closer to death. (...or a mortgage. Either way, it should suck major ass)

Laugh because it hurts. Cry because you laughed too much.
Liezel Ann 1980-

Cheers.

Men are so simple and yield so readily to the desires of the moment that he who will trick will always find another who will suffer to be tricked.

-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Women have long left the cave, yet communication between the sexes will undoubtedly never change. It'd be just easier to get clubbed over the head and pulled by my hair, to get a real man around here. Hell, at least I know they were interested.

Goes to show the mentality of men in general. Haven't been living long enough to date everyone on the planet, but I've dated (or simply talked to) a few to know men well enough that they are all the same. And I didn't have to write a Pulitzer for that piece of information.

The various types of men should be noted:

-GoofBall (usually class clown in school, never serious, always out for a joke)

-Jock (always looking to score, on and off the field)

-Suit (has power lunches and time crunches to compensate for other things)

-Player (will charm you, deceive you, while hooking up with your gf)

-Momma's Boy (seems like a good idea to date him, but you'll date his mother too.)

-Nerd (mostly likes odd ball hobbies and hours on the internet, and "hot babes" )

-Boy next door (usually a midwestern boy, has good morals, but can be hard to please)

-Intellectual (has a high IQ, but rarely has the common sense to show respect)

Anyone of these types can fall victim to another category. The jock can also be a nerd and goofball, while the suit can be the intellectual and player, and still have difficulty getting your name right. Anyone of these types of men will fall into one of these categories at one point, or all at the same time.

When it comes to women and dating, do men have the upper hand? Surely this seems like an easy question to answer, but is it? Machiavelli is synonymous with deviousness, cruelty, and willfully destructive rationality; no thinker was ever so demonized or misunderstood than Machiavelli. I can't help but think that men and women have evolved underneath a Machiavellian way of dating.

My incredulity in the face of all the evidence is hard to understand. Yet, I feel there's a strong tie between the interaction between the sexes and Machiavelli's writings. The rationality of each sex is so far off from one another, it's amazing to see why we've gotten along these past couple of years.

More on this later, folks. At this rate, with my experience with men, we'll be here until the end of time.

--Daniel, thanks for the Haiku you wrote on me. Enlightening and thought provoking. I didn't know my actions spoke for me, even when I didn't say much.

--Random guy at KramerBooks in Dupont yesterday, thanks for the chit chat while in line. I am honored you shared a bit of your writing. Thanks for looking at mine as well. You made waiting in line bearable. You also gave me an idea for this blog and for a short story. Not too shabby for a guy who thinks he's bad at creating.

Morning Rant.

While driving through D.C. this morning, I happened to pass the Uptown Theater off Connecticut Avenue. (A cinema treasure, in my humble opinion) It did bring back many fond memories of growing up, and the many summers that I've spent with my grandmother before finally moving to the DC Metro area for college. She lived in northwest, off Military Road, and many changes to the old 'hood have occurred. The Highs convenience store (now a CVS), the 7-11 (also a CVS), and the McDonald's in Tenley town (Where I witnessed my first, and hopefully my last gun robbery) were all places I used to frequent as a young lady. OH, did I mention I was 12 when I saw the robbery? It was very surreal. It is a florist shop now. From holdups to lilies, pigtails to my work bun at the bank... It's still an awfully strange transition.

When I was living back in Northern NJ, I would spend every summer (from 1990 on) with my grandmother in NW D.C. She lived in a very quaint neighborhood. There were nice neighbors who would bake cookies for the kids of Military Road and it was walking distance to Murch Middle School's playground (everything a kid could ever need!). This 'hood is where I learned how to ride a bicycle, take metro transportation, wear 'baggy' clothing, and bypass tourists on the street without getting too physical. Hanging out in NYC/Northern NJ had turned me into a rude, raging pedestrian for a few years, if you could believe it. It was a fun experience spending every summer in D.C. It was a period of time in my life that I was away from my parents, and from my "JERSEY" way of living. I loved every minute of it!



Ah, memories. Back to the Uptown Theater... The style of the theater is art deco, seats about 800, has a single screen which is curved and measures about 32 feet x 70 feet. The Uptown Theater has been the best place to see event movies over the past 30 years. It opened in 1933, and happens to be the last movie palace in Washington, DC still showing first run films and was the location of the world premiere of '2001: A Space Odyssey' in April 1968.

What's the fascination with the theater? Well, glad you asked. As I drove past the theater early this morning, I noticed a few lawn chairs, sleeping bags, backpacks and water bottles outside the ticket window. There wasn't a small concert in front of the ticket window, instead there were (about 50) fanatics waiting in line for the latest chapter of the Star Wars movie. No need to camp out for great seats, my friends. EVERY SEAT IN THAT HOUSE IS A GREAT SEAT! The Uptown is one of my favorite theaters in this area. In 1997, when the Uptown Theater was the host of the re-release of the Star Wars saga (The special edition) and on opening day, the ticket lines were wrapped around the block, turned the corner, and continued several blocks away from Connecticut Street.

I noticed one of the fanboys hitting his daily 3 S's. (Shitting, Showering, and Shaving) All this while standing right over a sewer drain, too. Of course the dental association highly recommends using StarBucks coffee to rinse off your toothpaste and mouthwash. Scratching himself as if he was in his own private restroom... I definitely could of done without seeing that earlier this morning.

I wouldn't be suprised if the Cleveland Park area had some fanboys dressed up in full Star Wars costumes running around. Keep note of the middle aged men playing with light sabers, that's always a fun accident waiting to happen.

Residents of Cleveland Park/Woodley Park:

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

--Mr. Westfall, you did an excellent job bringing the funny last night. I'm a big fan of your work, Shawn. You, my friend, are a funny guy. You're a funny mother (shut your mouth) SHAWN! Can you dig it?

Talent is what talent does. YOU. ARE. FUNNY. Now, keep the laughs coming, and show the rest of us, how it's done. Bitch. :)

Come check him out at the DC IMPROV, he'll be the funny one on stage. He'll be there the rest of week. Do yourself a favor and support comedy.