A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study:"Duh." - C. O'Brien

Congrats to Conan O'Brien for taking over Jay Leno as host of the "Tonight" show... I know it won't happen until 2009, but I'm terribly happy for my favorite late night host/writer. Rock on, Conan. Rock on.

Conan to Take Over 'Tonight' in Five Years

By DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer

NEW YORK - NBC announced Monday that Conan O'Brien will take over from Jay Leno as host of the "Tonight" show. But he'll have time to write his jokes — the planned succession won't happen until 2009.

The announcement solves a delicate problem for NBC, which realized O'Brien was getting antsy in his "Late Night" time slot (12:35 a.m. Eastern) and wanted to keep him from jumping to another network.

Leno planned to make the announcement on Monday's edition of "Tonight," a special celebration of the talk show's 50th anniversary.

"In 2009, I'll be 59 years old and will have had this dream job for 17 years," Leno said. "When I signed my new contract, I felt that the timing was right to plan for my successor and there is no one more qualified than Conan."

"Plus, I promised Mavis I would take her out for dinner before I turned 60," the notoriously workaholic Leno said about his wife.

Leno took over from Johnny Carson (news) on "Tonight" in 1992 and after a few years of trailing the man he beat out for the job in the ratings — David Letterman — he passed the CBS star and has been dominant in the time slot.

An unknown at the time, O'Brien had the thankless job of taking over from Letterman on "Late Night," and he was nearly fired after several weeks of painful shows. But he recovered and has been a critical and commercial success.

But O'Brien has openly talked about wanting to move on and, in the late-night world, that means an earlier time slot.

--With the Daily Show winning an Emmy, let's see if NBC won't court the hell outta Jon Stewart to take over "Late Night". (The idea of such a lineup is getting me all sorts of excited. You'll have an Irishman and a Jew rocking the NBC latenight airwaves!) Conan O'Brien is one of the funniest writers around. A few years back, he wrote for Saturday Night Live and the Simpsons. You can actually find Conan in the background as an extra/featured player in some old SNL skits. His zany sense of humor has characters like the masterbating bear, camel toe suzie, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog frequently popping up in sketches on Late Night. We'll see how that plays out when he takes over the "Tonight" Show at 11:30pm.

On another note:

MIDNIGHT MADNESS IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY!!!!!!
With Jamar Smith gone, the Terps need another physical presence on offense and cannot afford to have Power Forward Travis Garrison play so inefficiently. Garrison is going to need a post move he can RELY on.

Can you smell that? That's college hoops in the air, baby!! Are you ready? Let's see what the conferences bring to the courts this basketball season.

Who's getting their dancing shoes ready and polished for the BIG DANCE in March? Can't wait, fellas...CAN'T WAIT.

Aside from the ACC, I'm looking at the BIG EAST and the BIG 10 conferences this season for some great games.

Switching gears. Slightly.
--Was Bobby Knight in D.C.? For politcs??

Knight spoke at the National Press Club

Associated Press

WASHINGTON -- Bob Knight went to Washington to speak, not to serve.
The fiery Texas Tech coach was the guest speaker at the National Press Club on Monday, offering his opinions on several basketball topics and downplaying any ambitions to make the jump to politics from the world of sports.

...Knight's appearance was part comedy, part serious discussion of issues he's raised before. He brought a copy of the NCAA rules manual and belittled its thickness as compared with other documents.

"Here's a copy of the United States Constitution," Knight said. "It's got 15 pages, and it's served us for a long time. ... Moses wrote 10 things on a rock that have lasted millenniums."

A simpler kind of innocence

After a much-needed slumber, I finally emerged from my bed and saw my very own shadow. I believe that means we are going to have six more weeks of hurricane season hell. It's been an exhausting week of new bankers hours, improvisational comedy, acting workshops, and meetings. As I prepared to enjoy what's left of a weekend (and sadly my only day off) I reminiscently watched three 8-year old boys rolling down a hill and playfully repeating the act. Chuckling to myself, I remembered how wonderful it was being a kid. A time in our lives where the idea of getting "hurt" was actually sought after instead of avoided. I won't delve into the worry free portion of our younger days, but I will take on the inscrutable wonders of the "first kiss".

My first kiss was a bumbling display of show me yours and I'll show you mine. (We're talking frogs, here. Get your minds out of the gutters. I was 9-years old for crying out loud) The boy, who shall remain nameless, was a neighborhood friend. We were mostly bike riding partners, nothing more. One day, as we showed off our new frogs, my neighbor told me something I've never heard before in the nine years of existence on the planet. With a mouth full of bubblegum that'll put the gum collections underneath our middle school desks to shame, he said, "I want to give you a kiss". My reaction to his statement, "Ew". Persistent little bugger, he ended up planting a wet one when I wasn't looking. He ended up trying for another, and I finally gave in. Genuinely, it was awkward. And fun, too.

Does magic from the first kiss dissipate over the years? Granted, at age nine, it doesn't hold the same anticipation when you share that moment with someone 20 years later. Why talk about that first kiss you ask? Seems to me that it does carry over and starts fresh with every new pair of lips to come across yours. Not saying you have to reply "Ew" with every kiss, but maybe we should take on a similar, innocent mind set.

Naturally, every first kiss varies. I'm sure we all can remember kissing a Becky behind the bleachers during 7th period in Junior High, or playing tonsil hockey with a Tony, a sophomore jock after the Spring Fling Dance. In any case, there's always that rush, that eagerness to get closer, and sucking face like there's no tomorrow. When it comes to characterizing another person, kisses are similar to handshakes. Some say a firm handshake can dictate assertiveness and confidence. While sloppy kisses can mean a short lived pajama dance in bed.

You can find kissing someone for the first time has it's own bumbling moments. From getting caught, using too much or too little tongue, to missing your target altogether, it's bound to happen.

"Oh my god, is he leaving the Red Sox game on TV? Ugh."

"She better not get red lipstick on my new Ralph Lauren shirt."

"He's rounding 3rd base and I haven't sucked his tongue yet."

"I hope those were her lips I was sucking on and not her nostrils."

Through my hefty, scientific method of an investigation, (bar hopping in Adams Morgan, really) I've discovered that not all first kisses resemble scenes we see in movies. It's the same with lovemaking, but that's a whole other blog... As I observed the singles mingle and the couples jingle into foreplay, I realized that first kisses can leave lasting impressions.

Does a kiss give you indirect insight to who that person is? Is he a biter? Does she give good head? He must know the alphabet trick. She probably likes solving world hunger and creates world peace in her spare time...

What is the "magic" of the first kiss, then? Does it depend on the mood setting? The person? Great lighting? Two shots of Grand Marnier and a ride home, perhaps? It's been my experience that the magic lies in the moments before the kiss.

It's the moments prior to that elusive first kiss that create the moment. The invisible pulley that draws two people together without saying a single word. One time it was a quick glance that did it for me. Another time it was the alluring smell of cologne. Ah, those tender kisses behind my ears... Whatever it was, it drove me crazy for more than just that first kiss. It's the tangible idea of discovering another human being that really got me going. Not knowing (and not caring) what's going to happen next. Is that the magic of the first kiss, the fearless display of lust and love that gives it that lasting spell? Innocently enough, you slowly unravel the mystery of the person with each kiss.

From my first kiss to the last, the magic of the kiss will remain in the moment itself. Until we finally discover it's true meaning, the magic will remain secret in the kisses. And with one another.

The kiss you take is paid by that you give: The joy is mutual, and I'm still in debt.
--George Granville, Lord Landsdowne. Heroic Love (act V, sc. 1)

I dedicate this blog:

To my frog Napoleon: Who I never kissed, may you rest in peace, buddy.

To the little boys rolling down the hill earlier today: Cutest boys in the neighborhood. I'm sure you'll drive the girls insane. Watching you guys reminded me of a little boy I babysat. I remembered being his first kiss and "girlfriend". I do appreciate the blog idea about first kisses. Thanks!

*This idea brought on material for a skit I wrote on the back of an old receipt. I'll be sending that over to my fellow actors/writers for major brainstorming.* Read it bitches. Read it.

End scene.

"Acting is basically a simple exercise of living life truthfully under imaginary circumstances."

"... makes me so horny."
Click on it. Titled "Internet vs. Real Life". Funny stuff.

WOULD YOU LIKE A BIGGER PENIS?
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE IT?

You could put it in escrow. ;)

Don't touch me there Daddy...

I'm this damn excited about the improv show tonight...

Be there. DC Improv. Doors open at 7, show starts at 8:30pm. See Liezel perform like an idiot on stage. I know, not much of a difference off stage. Kiss my ass.

To all the bitches calling/texting/e-mailing me at 9am this morning about tickets... BITE ME.

I sent mass e-mail reminders eons ago. Ya lousy 'effin procrastinators!! ;)

I'll see you bitches tonight. And Go.

P.S. Bowling Leagues are the fruits of the devil. Due to "league" night, my family can't find friggin substitutes to come to the show. I swear, my family is so damn Asian sometimes. If there were "pocket size" karaoke machines, they'd buy them wholesale. Along with hits from the 70s & 80s:


1. Kool And The Gang - Cherish
2. The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
3. Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now
4. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Working My Way Back To You
5. Jefferson Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
6. Katrina & The Waves - Walking On Sunshine
7. Banarama - Venus
8. Dr Hook - Sharing The Night Together
9. Peter Allen - I Go To Rio
10. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
11. Rose Tattoo - We Can't Be Beaten
12. Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
13. Tina Arena - Chains
14. Dr Hook - Walk Right In
15. Fairground Attraction - Perfect
16. The Bangles - Walk Like An Egyptian
17. Huey Lewis & The News - Hip To Be Square
18. The Polie - Every Breath You Take
19. Toni Childs/Jimmy Cliff - Many Rivers To Cross
20. Celine Dion - Ain't No Mountain High Enough

*Blog on bitches. Blog on*

"Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" by Geto Boys is a great song. It's been on my mind since Friday afternoon. The song is off of the Office Space soundtrack. (Think of the fax machine meets baseball bat scene)



Milton Waddams : [talking on the phone]

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.

It's been a long week so far, folks. And it's only Tuesday. Blog on, bitches.

It's a bit George and Zippy out......

Mellow mood has got me, so let the music rock me. - Bob Marley

Tired. Up for most of the night. Going over lines and voices with another fellow actor/thespian. Stuffing my face with pasta and ice cream during our "down time", mind you.

That's all I got. I think I've gone loony. I believe a lack of sleep has a small part in this. Well, we're not talking loony like Antoinette's (Bertha Mason) from Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys. Heredity and inbreeding can play a part in our lunacy, but it's the cultural differences in each of our environments that push us over the edge.

Instead of pointing out all the differences, spend more time on the level where there is common ground. You'll miss out so much if you don't.
*Ahem* Annie. *Ahem* Everyone else in the world.

Ignorant people can kiss my ass. Plant a big fat one on my tookus. Good day. ;)

(Annie, I still love you. I'm glad we got our hair "did" on Saturday.)

P.S.

"I haven't a Danny mate!"

Fears Smears.

Fear.

Noun 1. fear - an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight)
--Taken from Webster's dictionary.

I define fear as the emotional suffocation of the mind & heart. Physically, the worries overwhelm both your physical and pyschological state of mind.

Often you'll hear people ask you, "What do you fear most?" ... What do you fear?

My biggest fear: Not giving 110%. In life. In general.


These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot. They're better known as the questions that James Lipton asks every guest at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio" show.

Answer them for yourself, and have fun with your friends. You'll be amazed at how much they reveal about a person's thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

These are my answers. Enjoy. I love the show. Thought I have a little fun on my lunch break. ;)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. What is your favorite word? Serendipity
2. What is your least favorite word? Can't
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Love
4. What turns you off? Ignorance
5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love? Laughter
7. What sound or noise do you hate? ("Canned")Laughter tracks on tv shows.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Painter
9. What profession would you not like to do? Doctor
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Thought you'd never get here...

Avast, me hearties!

Yesterday was "Talk like a Pirate Day". John Baur and Mark Summers began this national holiday. Here they are on on the topic:

Once upon a time -- on June 6, 1995, to be precise -- we were playing racquetball, not well but gamely. It wasn't our intention to become "the pirate guys." Truth to tell, it wasn't really our intention to become anything, except perhaps a tad thinner and healthier, and if you could see our photos, you'd know how THAT turned out. As we flailed away, we called out friendly encouragement to each other -"Damn, you bastard!" and "Oh, jeez, my hamstring!" for instance - as shots caromed away, unimpeded by our wildly swung rackets.

On this day, for reasons we still don't quite understand, we started giving our encouragement in pirate slang. Mark suspects one of us might have been reaching for a low shot that, by pure chance, might have come off the wall at an unusually high rate of speed, and strained something best left unstrained. "Arrr!," he might have said.

Who knows? It might have happened exactly that way.

Anyway, whoever let out the first "Arrr!" started something. One thing led to another. "That be a fine cannonade," one said, to be followed by "Now watch as I fire a broadside straight into your yardarm!" and other such helpful phrases.

By the time our hour on the court was over, we realized that lapsing into pirate lingo had made the game more fun and the time pass more quickly. We decided then and there that what the world really needed was a new national holiday, Talk Like A Pirate Day.

First, we needed a date for the holiday. As any guy can tell you, June 6 is the anniversary of World War II's D-Day. Guys hold dates like that in reverence and awe so there was no way we could use June 6.

Mark came up with September 19. That was and is his ex-wife's birthday, and the only date he could readily recall that wasn't taken up with something like Christmas or the Super Bowl or something. We also decided -- right then and there on the court on June 6, 1995 -- that the perfect spokesman for our new holiday was none other than Dave Barry himself, nationally syndicated humor columnist and winner of the Pulitzer by-God Prize. So, naturally, we forgot all about it.

For seven years we celebrated Interational Talk Like a Pirate Day pretty much on our own, with our friend Brian Rhodes actually reminding us that the event was coming up. Frankly, we usually forgot exactly when Talk Like a Pirate Day was supposed to be or even that there was such a thing. Brian is one of those guys who programs every important event into his computer so that a reminder pops up the day before. John and Mark may be the founders of Talk Like a Pirate Day, but Brian is certainly the midwife, or godfather or something. (Have a cigar, Brian!)

Yesterday I was definitely in "pirate" mode. I woke up, had breakfast outside, watched the Skins game (We'll get'em next time Gibbs!), ran errands, worked out with my brother, read a book outside (it was gorgeous, I had to be outside as much as I could!) and I ended up having a wonderful day. O.A.R.'s "Wonderful Day" kept replaying in my head. It wasn't much of a weekend because I ended up working on Saturday. (And no, Katherine. I haven't gone "corporate" on you!)

It was a nice weekend to sit back and relax...

My pirate name: Dread Pirate Vane ("google" a pirate name generator) :)

What does a pirate drive to work in?

A CARRRRR!!

What does a pirate keep his jam in?

A JARRRRR!!

What does the pirate wish upon?

A STARRRRR!!

Where does a pirate do his drinking?

A BARRRRR!!

Ah, I can go on and on....

P.S. Tonight is the world premiere of Ladder 49 with John Travolta. *refer to a few blogs back if you're not "in the know".

Happy New Year!!!

Or shall I say, L'shana tovah! Can you smell the matzahball soup? I'm starting to drool uncontrollably, so will someone invite me to Rosh Hashanah dinner already?? I love Brisket, too. Um Yummy...



*Pours a bottle of Manischewitz onto the concrete*
This blog is for my Jewish Homies. (I go meshugeneh over the big holidays.)

Just because I'm a Shikseh-(Non-Jewish girl) doesn't necessarily mean I can't get down with my fellow homies.

--Never teach your mother how to "text" on a cell phone. You'll get messages like this:

pekpek mo.

putanginamo

If you knew what that meant in our native tongue, you'd know exactly why I had to slap my face into my palms when I received the text at work. I thought she was sending me a nice surprise at work, too. (candy, lunch, singing telegram, etc.) BaH. Goes to show you that mothers are definitely crazy loons.

I love postcards. Don't you?? I got this one early this morning from Meg, a good friend back home in North Jersey.



P.S. Happy Birthday Dan Moran!! My friend, my brother. (Beating those girls down with that stick of yours in Connecticut I see.) Chicks dig guys who go to Law School. You'll be getting more ass than a prostitute on payday ;)

Speaking of ass, I should head out to my corner. (off 14th Street) I mean work.

Crack is back... I mean, Councilman Barry!

I wonder how long it'll take me to NOT make a joke about our old DC mayor...

Barry received about 57 percent of the votes cast with his remarkable victory over Sandy Allen.

Taken from the Washington Post:

Barry, 68, was nearly mobbed as he arrived late yesterday at his campaign headquarters near Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue and Malcolm X Boulevard SE. After he stepped out of his white SUV, he began to dance to a live band set up under a tent.

As a throng of reporters converged upon him, Barry pointed a slender finger. "I told you so. I told you so," he said.

Hmm... tell me what, Barry? You have a tendency to leave a mark with your statements...

"Bitch set me up."

"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"

"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."

Let's hope Barry doesn't revisit the Vista Hotel anytime soon. Ah, let the Barry jokes roll on in.

Just finished listening to Brad Trackman's comedy cd "Safecracker". Terribly nice guy I got to meet when he opened for John Pinette at the DC Improv. He also offers free tickets to his shows on his website.

"Not a big fan of the "guy friends" I had a girl, and I don't like her having guy friends. You going to dinner with "Luke"... Oh what I'm going to do? Oh I'm going to read the Bible...rent a movie, follow you with my truck. Hard to be a man."

"Women are like safecrackers and men have to figure out the combination... everynight. We know how to 'get' into the safe. We crack it open. We say anything to get into that 'safe'. I like you for you. 23 left. We don't have to have sex, we can just cuddle. 34 right."

Thought that was clever. :)

Last great comedy album I heard was David Cross' "It's Not Funny", which was also taped at the DC Improv. Some people may be put off by his occasional condescending delivery and frequent bursts of sarcasm. I adore it. "It's Not Funny" is actually quite hilarious.

My favorite album is Dane Cook's "Harmful if Swallowed". I saw Mr. Cook live and he's absolutely hysterical. Can't wait to get that CD. His recent material is quicker and more off the wall.

Why do they call it a rest room? Is anybody really just going in there to rest? And, who is so pissed off when they go into the restroom that they have to carve the most ignorant crap into the walls?

I'll end on this note:

What is Mayor Barry's favorite television show?

``Totally Hidden Video''


--Blog on, bitches. Leezuhhl Out.--

... sachey chantey ;)

Once upon a time...
There was a little black girl
In the bruster projects of Detroit, Michigan
At 15, she was spotted by an ebony fashion fair talent scout
And her modeling career took off

You better work!

You better work! (cover girl)
Work it, girl! (give us a twirl)
Do your thing on the runway

Work! (supermodel)
You better work it girl (of the world)
Wet your lips and makin love to the camera

I have one thing to say: "sachey, chantey, chantey, chantey, chantey chantey chantey"

Work! (turn to the left)
Work! (now turn to the right)
Work! (sachey chantey)

I have one thing to say...
"You better work!"

Artist: RuPaul
Song: Supermodel (You Better Work)
Album: Supermodel Of The World

Fallaces sunt rerum species

Damn, if only my modeling career didn't end on the note that I wasn't a 6'7" black male transvestite. Or that I didn't host my own talk show/ comedy sketch show on VH1. Perhaps it was the simple fact I was never billed as "The First Face of M.A.C." Sadly, I never built up to what he(she) calls the "Glamazon Look", hence ending my short lived career as the "Under 5'6" Macy's runway model (kids section) for the special and gifted." If RuPaul can write an autobiography entitled Lettin It All Hang Out, then I should be able to pen one entitled "Keeping It All In & Hidden." (Quite opposite of David Sedaris writing about a do-it-yourself father who does at home surgery to save a couple of bucks in Barrel Fever) David's collection of hysterical essays & short stories mirrors my own sense of humor and style of absurd writing. Picked it up at Second Story Books in Bethesda about a week ago. Funny shit.

Camera phones are quite the nifty little gadgets. Not only can I take really horrible pictures (like the ones of myself on the top of the blog), but I can use it to decode the Sunday Post's crossword puzzle. Ok, not really. But I could use all the help I can get with that "Sphinx" of a weekly word teaser. I actually have other risque pictures I can post, but I will have to charge everyone a one time fee of $49.99. Fee entitles you to a username & password and unlimited visits. No pesky ad pop ups. There'll be tons of other things "popping up". I've always wondered about those websites. Tax break for at home personal business, perhaps? Can I get away with lingerie as a deductible? ;)

THIS JUST IN:
The upcoming movie Ladder 49 with John Travolta, Joaquin Phoenix, Robert Patrick, and Morris Chestnut will be out October 1, 2004.

I submitted as an "extra" but was asked to play a bartender in one of the flashback scenes. I accepted without hesitation, of course. The casting department said they liked my "look"; whatever the hell that means to the filming gods. It was about a year ago when they filmed most of their exterior scenes in/around Baltimore, MD. (Volunteer firemen parade, burning buildings, etc.) Let's cross our fingers that you'll be able to spot me on the big screen. I pray my ass doesn't touch the cutting room floor.

"I love acting. It is so much more real than life."
Oscar Wilde (1854 -1900), The Picture of Dorian Gray,1891

Hump this!! No, really...

Wednesday's are often regarded as "Over the Hump" day. If you've never heard of this expression, here's a little backstory. And if you haven't, where have you been?? Living underneath a rock the whole time?? Still using that nifty 8-track?
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree..." *Snaps fingers* Ah, the good old days. Um. I mean, no. Jay Z, he's the shiznits!! (Are kids even saying that anymore?) That 1973 Tony Orlando and Dawn song reference is totally Asian of me. Every asian family I ever knew (including my own) had an 8track (or currently owning the karaoke version) of that song. Therapy has been soothing out my personality wrinkles, but the nightmares of Uncle "too drunk to sing this damn song" keep recurring. I'll take more blue pills, please.

"Hump Day" -- ".the day that is at the midpoint in a given period of work; (often) Wednesday, the middle of the work week. Similarly, Hump Night. 1965 in DARE (Dictionary of American Regional English): Hump day was used by counselors at summer camp to mean Wednesday."

It's been one of those hectic days at work. To make matters worse, I'm not too fond of a fellow co-worker who's not only obnoxious, but louder than a rock concert. LIVE. Apparently, when in conversation, he still feels the need to YELL out everything to me. (Knowing damn well, my ass is sitting right next to his.)

As I counted down the minutes (which felt like hours, days. Really. ) to our closing bell at work, I was struck with a dessert surprise. A lovely customer, a regular to our bank, was holding 2 heavenly McFlurries with my name written all over the Oreo one. She usually comes by once a week with various banking transactions and off the wall stories. I've managed to befriend her while discussing everything from car troubles, to her "rotten spoiled" children, to even an upcoming improv show I'm participating in. Terribly sweet woman, who's kind enough to let me engage in the most random conversations. She overheard a co-worker and I discussing our "love" for McFlurries from McDonald's sometime before the Labor Day weekend.

Well, today was a day to see her smiling face. She walked in with 2 McFlurries. One for Elise and I to devour like hungry beasts gone amuck in the wild. (A terribly cool chick that I work with, by the way) She wanted to give us the treats because she knew we worked long days Monday through Friday and thought it'd be a nice gift for helping her with previous transactions. I actually thought she was kidding when she told us she'd get us some for being "dolls" to her the next time she came in to the bank.

Before she left, I knighted her as my "McFlurry Godmother". That's right, bitches! I got my own McFlurry Godmother. Don't sweat the technique. (Ok, that last part was reaching. I haven't heard that expression since the early 90's) My apologies.

It's been an awful day. What a way to return back to work, eh? (At least I had a 4 day weekend.) Oh, and Thank God for sweet people like "McFlurry Godmother" to make everything better.

P.S. When someone you know calls you "woman" (aside from the other petnames: ho, moms, bitch, skank love, bootytaper, etc.)

Reply with this:
"OK, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in a misogynistic undertone."

*Haven't done a movie reference in awhile. Any takers?*

--I've been slacking in the movie department lately. I've been wanting to see the following: Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite, and Vanity Fair.

Any reviews you'd like to share?

Currently reading Bringing down the house by Ben Mezrich. Haven't had a "fun" read in awhile. Only 70 pages in, but I find myself wanting to read more.

Terribly easy read, (unlike the book Trainspotting which could take you forever the first couple of chapters. You actually begin thinking in that horrible Scottish dialect it was written in. After you break through the beginning chapters, it's all gravy. Kinda like the movie Snatch; you scratch your head the first couple of scenes, but you get use to the dialect after a while. 'You like 'dawgs'? ) I hear Porno, Irvine Welsh's sequel to Trainspotting, is a wonderful yet unnecessary sequel to his cult classic.

Back to Bringing Down the House; a read that chonicles a real-life Ocean's Eleven. I've only read a few chapters, and I'm marking pages to refer back to for some laughs. If you've never gambled, or never had an interest, this book will break down the basics, and then some. Mezrich's witty sense of humor on writing and NJ has got me in stitches:

I immediately thought about edging toward the exit. Like every other writer, I had heard this opening a thousand times in my career. Everyone had a story he believed worthy of a best-seller; for me, reality was rarely interesting enough to take the place of fiction.

Gotta love "JOYSEY", baby!! At least, I do...

He heard the trunk slam shut, then glanced back at the airport terminal. The sidewalk was nearly empty; it was Saturday morning, and you had to be crazy or drunk to fly to New Jersey on a Saturday morning. Or a little of both.

I'm quoting this last part because I'm always excited to hear someone referring back to my hometown:

It was two in the afternoon by the time they stepped over the threshold of the casino floor, and Kevin was feeling mildly lethargic, the result of a heavily laden VIP buffet and forty minutes on a lounge chair in a private pool cabana. He hadn't seen any showgirls, but he had been lucky enough to watch an extremely pale family from Passaic play water volleyball against a group of Japenese tourists.

Book on deck: Naked by David Sedaris

Chain me up, boys... I look great in stripes.

I'd get cuffed for a thousand bucks ;)
Or on a Saturday night date... whatever comes first.
(Article is a few days old, but I thought it was amusing)

(New York-WABC, September 2, 2004) — A New York State Court judge has ordered the city of New York held in contempt for refusing to release some 168 demonstrators who have been held more than 24 hours without being arraigned.

The information was provided to Eyewitness News on the scene here at 100 Centre Street by the Legal Aid Society.

Some 250 cases have been processed today, but the city has been unable to process the other 168.

It is not clear what has become of them--whether they will be released imminently or not.

No immediate comment from prosecutors or the city.

Under the contempt order, New York City is being fined $1,000 a day per demonstrator. In other words, the city is being slapped immediately with a $168,000 fine. That, according to Donna Lieberman, of the NYCLU.

That fine will double if the city does not release the remaining demonstrators by this time tomorrow.

The fines, in case you are wondering, are payable to the detained demonstrators, themselves.

No word on when, or if, the city will release the "RNC 168."

Just crazy fun... for all, perhaps? Hmmm.

Felt good helping a fellow co-worker with English homework for school; in addition, I've always enjoyed the creative writing assigments. So, I made a bio-poem as well:

Label reads: Leezuhhl.
Born & raised Jersey chick turned Terrapin.
Ridiculously charming, witty, spontaneous, annoyingly congenial, and kind.
Daughter, sister, actress, friend, and avid communicator to all.

At my best when watching a really great movie, after a night out with great company and conquering my latest book discovery.

Needs to indulge habitual sweet tooth cravings, fill the days with laughter, and have moments of music zen. (if even for a few minutes)
Offers a sense a humor only my mother could love, endless hours to those who mean the most to me, and neverending hugs for the hugless.

Fears life is just one long B-rated comedy/horror flick, the idea of being unappreciated, and drowning in a 3 foot kiddie pool because I was never properly taught how to swim.

Longs to travel to London, unpatiently awaits the days of winter's bitter love affair, and bottomless beers during happy hour.



**Random fact of the day**
(And I mean random)

At one time, used panties of Japanese schoolgirls were sold in vending machines in Japan. In Japan in 1993 previously-worn panties were being offered for sale in vending machines. The used underwear had supposedly been worn by schoolgirls and were being sold for the equivalent of US $50 apiece.

Japan is home to a thriving bura-sera industry — of which traffic in the soiled panties of schoolgirls represents only one part — with "bura-sera" being the term for a specific male fascination relating to that country's schoolgirls. "Buru" is anglicized Japanese (Japlish) for "bloomers" and "sera" for "sailor"; the term refers to the sailor suit, the predominant style of girls' junior and high school uniforms. Dozens, if not hundreds, of magazines are exclusively devoted to bura-sera photographs, pictures that feature girls clad in school garb, holding up their skirts to display their panties. Usually in such photos the girls' faces are hidden, but that is not always the case.

There was thus a waiting market for "schoolgirl panties" machines, in that those looking to obtain such items would not have to brave a bura-sera shop to fulfill their desires. These mechanical points of sale appeared in 1993 in Chiba City (Chiba Prefecture), in an area known for its porn magazine and adult video vending machines. Almost immediately, an outcry was raised against them, but there was a problem in getting them removed: Whereas sellers required licences to distribute other types of goods, no such requirement was on the books for soiled underwear, because no one had foreseen the possibility of trade in such an item. These machines existed outside the law in the sense that no specific statute existed that could be invoked to combat them. The solution was as creative as it is odd-sounding — the machines were countered by invoking the Antique Dealings Law, a statute which stipulates that an antique dealer or a dealer in second-hand items must obtain permission from local authorities. Lacking those permissions, the items could not be vended.

In September 1993, three businessmen were charged with selling used panties without a permit under the provenance of this law. The machines were seen no more, ending this phase of Japan's "Vend me your rears!" craze.

--And to think, I thought the machine that sells dvd's & gallons of milk outside of the McDonald's in College Park was cool.-- :)